The Beauty Of Relationship
By Christine Godwin

I consider Relationship to be a Spiritual Path.  Nothing has taught me more about the Art of Forgiveness, Intimacy, and Connection than the relationships I’ve cultivated with friends, lovers and co-workers. Curiously, it is often the people in my life that irritate me the most who are my greatest teachers. For they are simply and always reflecting back to me my own state of consciousness.  Whatever I see in “them” is really only a reflection of me. Which is wonderful when I see them as loving, kind and peaceful... It is when I see them as judgmental, violent, or unkind that claiming their reflection as my own can be a very bitter pill to swallow. But even so, it’s much easier than trying to get them to change.

So many of today’s relationship problems exist because one person is trying to get another to be “more responsible”, “more attentive”, “less defensive” and it just really doesn’t work. The only way relationships work well is when the one person who can change things—does----the good news is that’s you! And me! And anyone and everyone who is willing to claim healthy responsibility for what they see “out there” in the world. Mahatma Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world” and that’s because when you do, it does!

If you want someone in your life to be more appreciative of you, begin by appreciating them! And then appreciate yourself for appreciating them! Soon you’ll find that they organically begin to feel and express their own appreciation.

If you want someone to stop judging you, begin by stopping your own judgment—of them, and of yourself. 

If you want people in your life to be more honest, then begin by saying something that is true for you. (It could even be something positive)

Relationships are meant to be a positive, pleasurable experience. All relationships point us in the direction of healing.  If we begin by looking at what we see “wrong” in others, we can see what wants to be healed in us. This is the true Nature and Beauty of Relationship. Oh sure, sex is great. Attention and companionship are wonderful, but those things are even more amazing when shared between two people who are individually whole and healthy.

You can use your relationships to assist you in finding all of the places where you are not yet healed. You’ll know what they are because they cause pain—emotional, mental, and even physical pain. What’s anxiety but worry about yourself or another? What’s depression but a feeling of disconnection? If you feel pain in your relationships, those are the places to put your attention.  If you use your relationship to assist you in healing, the surface issues that cause arguments will literally disappear. You were never really fighting about money or parenting anyway. You’ve just probably been wanting what we all want—peace, love and happiness. Thank goodness those things come from you, and only you.

About The Author:
Christine Godwin is a Relationship Coach who specializes in a mind-body-heart approach to ending conflict and creating peace and wellness. Christine is a graduate of the Hendricks Institute and has appeared as a guest on the Oprah show. You can find out more about Christine's work at www.ChristineGodwin.com